Lets Jerk? I told the judge at my trial that sometimes website names sound like tutorials to me. I blamed Facebook, but he wasn’t buying it. The instructions built into this next site’s name won’t get you arrested for breaking someone’s nose with your copy of Lolita. LetsJerk is more likely to get you busted for masturbating on the bus.
Wired published an article last month about how there are now 14 free porn tubes for every human alive on the planet. The number grows, and LetsJerk.is is among the ranks. Neil DeGrasse Tyson is worried the tubes will become sentient and pose a threat to humanity, but he lost his credibility thanks to the #metoo bullshit. You fuckers are going to be sorry in about 20 years when the dick-bots force your family to work deep in the fisting mines.
HD Videos, Like from the Future or Some Shit
The very top of the page, above the logo, makes some wild claims that I’ve never seen on a porn site before: “letsjerk.is now also available on mobile, enjoy free HD Porn Videos.”
Holy fucking shit! They’ve got actual High-Definition pornography! Oh, my fucking god! It’s free! Fuck my sister with a dildo! LetsJerk works on my phone, too!
I hope there comes a day when websites don’t tout basic features like they’re doing you a favor. Yeah, you’d better have HD because I’m not jerking off on a Nintendo Gameboy. It’d better be free because the other tubes are. It better work on my phone, too, because people always seem to know what’s up when I tell them I’m going to take a shit and then bring my laptop with me.
I’m not even really singling LetsJerk out on this, because they all do it. This site is just another typical example.
Really, everything about the front page looks typical for a tube. There’s a basic header with a search bar, followed by a big wall of hardcore fuck flicks.
Let’s Jerk! What’s on the Menu?
Instead of bragging about shit that every free tube has, LetsJerk should be shouting about their kickass selection. Actually, I guess there’s no shouting required. These thumbnails really do the trick.
A scene added just 5 minutes ago shows Valentina Nappi sitting on a dude’s lap, tits out, pants off and ready to fuck. She’s one of my favorite pornstars lately, but I see a lot of recognizable names, faces, and pussies without even scrolling the page. Adriana Chechik is riding a hard cock in the most recent clip, and Cherie Deville is pulling some guy’s pud in the shower.
The Adriana movie, Shut and Fuck Me, was uploaded 1 minute ago according to the thumbnail. That just ain’t so. I’ve refreshed the page a couple of times as I’ve typed everything above, and the page hasn’t changed. Regardless, it looks like LetsJerk updates about half a dozen times a day. That’s a bit slow for a tube, but hopefully, they make up for it in quality. I certainly don’t see the weaker porn that clogs up most tubes.
Jerks Jerking It to LetsJerk
I just had to see this Valentina flick. The video page is surprisingly clean. Any ads are taken care of by my spam plugin. I didn’t get a pop-up when I clicked Play. Instead, a 35-minute scene started playing with minimal buffering.
It’s got a RealityKings watermark in the corner. I get the feeling LetsJerk doesn’t have permission to post it, but I can’t pull my eyes away. Valentina knocks on some dude’s door, walks in, and is stripping within 30 seconds. Dude doesn’t even know her, at least according to the gripping pornographic storyline. Good thing his basement is decked out exactly like a strip club for some reason.
The video player has a speed control if you want to see Valentina twiddle her twat in slow-mo. Weirdly, you can’t adjust the video quality. The site brags about their HD video, but come on. That’s basic.
The social media button sits below the video so you can share this via Facebook, Twitter, Reddit or email. Let your 4 pity followers and your grandma know you’re into Big Ass, Big Naturals, Big Tits, and HD Porn, at least according to the tags.
You hoarders are going to be happy about the Download button. It gives you a quick and easy Openload link so you’ll have something to fap to even after they cut off your Internet, you goddamn cheapskate.
Eye Patches, Peg Legs, and Double-Ended Dildos
LetsJerk has material from Bangbros and Blacked, Brazzers and Mofos, PureTaboo and NaughtyAmerica. Each one yields a rich vein of anal movies, interracial gangbangs, lesbian films, incestuous hook-ups, and full-length orgy epics.
There are only about a dozen companies listed under Studios, but there are more on the Categories page. You’ll actually find more studios than categories, because that’s just what kind of site this is. 8thStreetLatinas, HotAndMean, Twistys, and LetsTryAnal share the page with thumbnails for Asian, MILF, Blowjobs and Big Tits.
The Categories page is actually more useful since it tells you how many vids are in each category. They’ve got 255 Amateur clips and 37 from Analized. LetsJerk only has 5 ExxxtraSmall clips, but they have thousands of Brazzers movies.
Oh, Fuck! So Many Broken Links!
I was so excited about all this Robin Hood porn that I got all lubed up and started the engine on my vaginal simulator. Looks like the joke’s on me. I’ve been sitting here for 5 minutes with a soft cock and lotion all over the place while all the other library patrons stare at me. The diesel fumes are getting to me, but I keep clicking broken links.
Once I strayed from the front page of LetsJerk, I walked into a minefield of broken links. A couple wanted me to activate Flash to watch, but most were links to Google docs that had been deleted for piracy. A couple even sent me to locked Google docs that I was supposed to ask permission for.
Google’s giant eye watches you take a leak and never forgets a thing. Now they know you tried to access stolen material on their servers. Cool.
That archive seemed impressive, but now seems useless. How is this site still pulls 3 million visits a month? I’m pretty sure it’s that front page.
A trip to LetsJerk’s (often misspelled as "let's jerk", "letsjerk.com" and "jerk porn") front page gives you quick access to a new selection of content from the big studios. Their archive looks impressive but is apparently fucked, but the latest and greatest are on LetsJerk.is in spades.