Where is The Porn Area? That’s the kind of question that’ll earn you different answers depending on who you’re asking. The old fuckers out there might immediately think of that sacred space between the mattress and box spring where you hide all your dirty magazines with the pretty ladies sucking cock. Meanwhile, the younger fuckers keep their favorite porno as a collection of bookmarks to their favorite clips on the internet. In between, you’ve got the hoarders of media, both physical and digital, filling up closets and hard drives with lesbian pussy licking videos, amateur gangbangs, and kinky POV fetish videos.
ThePornArea.com, the titular topic of review today, would probably have been something different in your grandpa’s day. These days, it’s a free tube where you can watch a ton of full-length premium porno movies. It’s arguably the modern, evolved version of that stack of nudie mags your old man kept in his sock drawer. The most significant apparent differences here are the scale. While your uncle may have had the best porn VHS collection back in the day, it’s a joke compared to what’s on this website. ThePornArea.com gets hundreds of thousands of visits a month, so I’m guessing they’ve got quite a selection of the dirty stuff. Let’s find out.
Find Your Own Personal Porn Place
As a teenager, I once stumbled onto what might have been considered somebody’s pre-internet version of The Porn Place. I was walking through the woods with a buddy, smoking a fat joint of cheap shitty weed full of stems and seeds. We noticed a weird hole in the brush alongside the trail we were walking and decided to push our way through. On the other side was a clearing, where we found an unlatched metal box lying beneath a fallen tree. Inside was a cache of glossy porno magazines, the off-brand rags from the high shelves at truck stops with names like Big Boobie Bonanza, Foxy Mama Fox Hunters, and Earl’s Anal Ass Lovers Loving Anal Ass.
Looking back, I know we probably gave some poor guy an awful case of blue balls. He probably returned to his porn area with an aching boner only to discover he’d been robbed. My friend and I divided up the box of porno between us and went on our own ways. I was still high when I got home, so I got to enjoy a heightened level of immersion as I rubbed one out to Hooter Town XXX, imagining I really did live in Hooter Town. My buddy got lost in the woods and was never seen again.
I bring up this story not just to highlight the generational differences ThePornArea brings up with its name alone, nor to express my lifetime regrets to strangers as I would a high-priced therapist. No, I bring it up to highlight the inherent superiority of ThePornArea to the forest porn stashes of the old days. For one thing, there’s more than enough to go around here. Instead of one measly stack of sticky-paged magazines, ThePornArea.com has tens of thousands of free dirty movies. You can watch them, your stoned friend can watch them, and everyone else in the world can watch them, too. They aren’t going to run out.
There’s also the matter of variety. The Porn Area my friend and I found seemed magical at the time, but it was just some random dude’s personal collection. He’d hand-selected the stuff that got him the hardest and drippiest, never giving a thought to the greasy stoners who might steal the pile right out from under him. ThePornArea.com takes the opposite approach entirely, with a wide range of porno categories that will appeal to almost every pervert. The only folks who aren’t going to be able to get off hard are those with deeper fetishes. (In which case, don’t forget to check out my list of Fetish Porn Sites here at ThePornDude!)
Let’s Talk About Those Categories
I knew ThePornArea.com had a nice selection as soon as I hit the front page. It wasn’t just the high-end thumbnails, which I’ll get to in a minute here, but the spread of popular tags stretched across the top of the screen. Big Boobs, Teenager, Ass Fuck, Kink, and Mom were all listed and linked, offering visitors quick access to each of these featured selections.
I clicked my way to the Categories page for an even broader cross-section. I ended up being impressed with the range of material and its insane volume. For example, the Upskirt category, which is currently their number-one top-rated genre, has 1409 movies. Upskirt’s a bit of a niche, and that’s a solid number. The more popular porno niches have crazy numbers.
Currently, The Porn Area has nearly 11,000 movies filed away under Feet. In addition, there are 22,000 BBW movies, 60,000 with cumshots, and over 170,000 fuck flicks starring Verified Amateurs. And if you like to watch bitches Squirt, take some sick leave because they’ve got 14,000 videos of it. They’ve got it from Red Heads to Fisting to MILFs to Shemales. There are even substantial sections devoted to BDSM, Voyeurs, and Pissing.
I was slightly surprised not to see studios or sites listed as categories. They seem like they’d be an obvious fit, considering one of ThePornArea’s big draws is all the fancy shit they’ve put on the menu. They’ve got material from a ton of big-name porno studios and paysites. Just looking at Today’s Videos on the front page, I see material from Woodman Casting X, Czech AV, and Twistys.
You don’t have to dig far to find more premium content. I clicked through random pages and found content from FTV Girls, X-Art, Brazzers, then Babes, Czech Casting, and BangBros. It’s practically a who’s who of the porno business, with a lot of famous names and faces.
Speaking of: it goes without saying that if ThePornArea has porn from the major producers, you’re going to be seeing some major talent. Sure enough, I saw video whores I recognized with every click. From Riley Reid to Valentina Nappi to Abella Danger, they’ve got all the hottest pornstars doing all the hottest shit on camera.
Full-Length and Fresh on the Daily
Honestly, if you’re a regular masturbator to internet porn, you know that a lot of what I mentioned is pretty standard when it comes to tubes. Any decent site full of free fuck flicks has a wide selection that includes lots of genres and lots of big names. Anything less, and they wouldn’t be able to compete with the rest of the free tubes out there. The Porn Area, though, gives a little bit more than the other guys. Their videos from the major players aren’t necessarily the same ones you find on other tubes.
Much of the content in The Porn Area is full-length. Instead of the usual ten-minute samples, you find elsewhere, a good portion of these movies might run forty-five minutes, an hour, even more. A good example is the Woodman Casting X films on the front page today, clocking in at over ninety minutes each. I hope you’ve got stamina, my masturbating friends. This is going to be a serious forearm workout.
I decided to start my official fap test with a half-hour flick starring Syren De Mer. It opens with the MILF taking a shower, the camera shooting from right beneath her ass as she cleans her cakes. Some dude in glasses walks in, and the next thing you know, she’s sucking his dick. I know that might sound like the plotline of one of my videos over at PornDudeCasting, though it’s from Naughty America, so the vibes are slightly different. My head’s way bigger than that!
ThePornArea.com has seen a pretty big spike in traffic over the last few months, and you don’t have to be a world-famous Porn Dude like myself to know why. It’s a simple formula involving a ton of porno movies, including plenty of full-length features you aren’t going to find on the other free tubes. They’re adding new movies every single day, which means you better get fapping if you want to have any hope of keeping up. Don’t forget the lube unless you want to get all chafed up.